Only For You
by shaunna100
Summary: Oneshot: Bella and Jacob love each other, but when the night takes a bad turn, all they shared was shattered. But hopes, dreams, and a new view on life help Bella realize that everything will be okay, no matter what the circumstances. JxB


**Only For You**

I stood at the end of the ocean, feeling the cool breeze tickle my skin, the sand like foam around my feet. There was something so relaxing about the ocean that made everything- no matter how bad the circumstance- just lift off your shoulders. That was why I loved to come here and escape any troubling thoughts that were flooding my head, making me feel cleansed and pure and whole.

The water splashed over my ankles, soaking the bottoms of my jeans and making me laugh in delight. It was cold, as it usually is in Forks during November, and I could already feel my toes become numb. But I just stood there, enjoying every moment of the ocean's presense and breathing in the salty brine that seemed to be rolling in from the waves.

I turned my back on the water and walked up the bank to rest on the grass. It was cold and damp and seeped through my jeans, but I didn't care. The beach was my safe haven, a place of relaxation and comfort. All my worries just seemed to drift away...

"I thought I'd find you here," a familiar, husky voice said from behind me. I looked up at the sound of his angelic voice and smiled as Jacob sat and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, gazing out into the ocean with awe. He never did like the ocean as much as I did, never saw what was so fasinating to me, but the fact that he was trying to was enough to make me sing. "You've been here for a while."

"A little over an hour," I said coolly with a shrug, then pointed to my notebook full of sketches. "I started to draw a picture of the plants and tree's down there." I pointed to the right where the forest began and stretched out for miles. "It's inspiring to be here. I feel so at ease."

Jacob rubbed my shoulder. "Your father's ashes are spread here, and I guess that makes you feel comfortable, because you know that he is watching over you. After all," he said, reaching down and picking up my sketch book, "what else could cause you to make such beautiful work? Besides your incredible talent, of course?"

Charlie, my father, had died eight months ago while on duty as an officer in Port Angelas. He had been on a mission to arrest two drug dealers who were going through the mall, armed with weapons and not afraid to use them. He had waited patiently outside for them to come out, his gun tucked in his holster. When they began to get into their car, Charlie had took out his gun, which scared the crooks into open firing as they attempted to drive out of the parking lot. They had injured three people; a six year old girl and her father, and a teenage boy who was riding his bike. They had killed my father with a fatal gunshot wound the head, a place where his protective gear did not protect.

His wife, Renee, who was my mother, had decided to have Charlie's ashes spread along the shore of First Beach in the La Push reservation. He had spent the majority of his time in La Push fishing with his good friend Billy, who just so happened to be Jacob's father. He had said several times that he loved the ocean, the way it would mist salt water in his face or drench the bottom if his pants with salty brine water. He liked the way the water had shone in the day time and seemed ever so still during the night. He liked the way the rocks would reflect the sun on the few sunny days we had each year in Forks, Washington. Both myself and Renee found it fitting that he have his ashes spread out here instead of his body being buried in a cemetary with hundreds of other bodies.

I had been drawing since I was in junior kindergarden. Charlie would take me to the Cavern, a tiny resturant a few minutes down the road from out house. The table cloths would be one large sheet of white paper, and they would supply you with crayons and pencils while you waited for your meal. I remember picking up the pencil and drawing a scetch of house house, with the victorian styled windows and green door. I used the crayons to color it in, and when I was done, my parents and a few spectators marveled at how well a five year old could draw.

We went back to the Cavern often, mostly because it helped set me in a mood to draw. The waitresses there knew me by name, knew what I liked to eat, and always gave me a free desert whenever I would finish a sketch. Berry coppler with whipped cream and nuts, piled in a big yellow bowl just for me. And a side of icecream, too.

I hadn't gone to the Cavern in a few weeks, mostly because Renee was busy working and Jacob had better ideas for a date than going to the diner to eat with a bunch of too loud teenagers and famalies with screaming babies and bickering children. I couldn't really blame him- a place where we could speak in peace and quiet was the perfect date for me, too.

"So has your mom finished working on that divorce case yet?" Jacob pondered, noticing the tension that must have built in my body. "It was a big case, she told me."

I shrugged indifferently, my long brown hair falling over my shoulders, over my breasts, in deep ringlet curls. "Richard and Monica are two of the richest people in Seattle, and Renee was lucky that they went to here to settle their divorce. Richard stayed with Renee so she can help him gain custody of their daughter, and she feels torn. She doesn't like working with both of them, then having to go against one of them. But she's almost done- just the trial left, now, and it will be up to the judge to decide the final verdict."

"You know what you need?" he asked, suddenly enthusiastic. I looked at him and cocked my head, my hair falling over to one side. "You need a break. I don't mean just one of those fifteen minute breaks you get at the shop. I'm talking about nice, relaxing time with," he used to finger to point to his head, "yours truly."

I leaned my head on his shoulder and laughed lightly. "I'd like that," I told him softly, turning my head so I was looking into his piercing brown eyes. "Renee's working till eight tonight, so I'm free until around seven- thirty."

He kissed the top of my head lovingly. "Perfect," he stated. "Absoulutely perfect."

I don't know how long we stayed like this, me wrapped in Jacob's arms so protectively, his large jacket wrapped around the both of us to keep up warm and protected from the mist that had rolled in with the fog. My hair was wet with water, the droplets to tiny and delicate that I was afraid to run my hand through my hair, afraid that I might loose the precious pearls that hung off the strands. So I just stayed there, the only noise being made was what the ocean was creating when it bounced harshly off the rocks on the shore and the sound of Jacob's breathing, almost in sync with my own.

Jacob and I started dating about six months after Edward left me. That was over a year ago now, and even though the wounds that Edward caused still dug deep, I was managing to get by each day with Jacob's love and support. I knew he would never leave me.

Today, the rain seemed especially heavy, the clouds especially grey and dark and mysterious. The waves crashed upon the shore with such force that I could hear it slap on the rocks like thunder. All these sounds were soothing, but when I began to shiver, I knew it was time to go home.

Jacob had his motorcycle, and I had my old, rusty red truck parked on the side of the road a few minutes away from the beach. I stood up and wiped off wide-legged, faded blue jeans, letting the wet dirt and grass fall back on the ground. Jacob stood up with me, taking his coat off himself and drapping it over my shoulders.

"You're going to be cold," I told him, pointing to his soaking wet hair and navy t- shirt and attempting to take off his jacket. His big hands stopped me when they rested on my shoulders.

He smiled, showing his straight white teeth and letting a small laugh bubble through his lips. "Take it, Bella. I'll be fine- I'm not even that cold!" He laughed again and threw his hands in the air, letting them fall back down to his sides. I knew that he was just saying he wasn't so I would take the jacket, even though he was probably chilled tot he bone.

Jacob walked with me to my truck. I handed him back his warm jacket and then got into my truck, cranking up the heat to full blast. I watched as Jacob turned on his heel and walked over to his motorcycle. Before he sped off, he turned back to me and waved. Through is helmet, I could see his smile, the corners of his mouth reaching all the way up to his ears. I waved back at him and laughed to myself before starting my truck, and backing out of the parking space.

Renee was there when I got home. She was sitting on the table, an array of papers on the table in front of her. She had her glasses perched on her nose and was busily tapping her pen to the table while biting her lip, an old habit of hers that told me she was deep in concentration and shouldn't be bothered.

I walked on my toes along the hallway, trying not to make any noise that would snap her out of her zone. I was about halfway there when I heard my name being called.

"Is that you, Bella?" I heard Renee's sweet, motherly voice drift into my ears. I stopped in my tracks and backed up so I was looking at her through the treshold that seperated the kitchen from the main foyer. Her face was calmed and relaxed, telling me that she wanted to me talk to her, and not just say a quick "yes" before dissapearing up into my room.

I walked into the kitchen and sat down on one of the unmatching chairs that were set around the table. Charlie had been an antique shopper, and the furniture in this house- while being very ugly and out of date- had been purchased on Charlie's trips to Las Vegas and Michigan. Everything he had bought had a story behind it, and as a little girl, he would tell me stories of how he got things each and every night before I went to bed. Even as a teenager he would tell me stories of how he got the chair I was sitting on at a garage sale in Vancover, or how the fork I was eating with was made in Austrailia. His stories were one of the things I missed most about my dad- no one could tell a story like he could.

"I know you usually do your homework at the table," she began. "I'm sorry; I just got so caught up in work and this case that it totally slipped my mi-"

I put up my hand to silence her, then laughed and pointed to the clock that hung on the wall her left. "It's four thirty. I've finished my homework a while ago, then went down to the beach for a while to sketch." I ran my finger along the coiled side of my sketch book, letting the cold from the metal seep into my skin and make me shiver for a moment. "Jacob stopped by and we stayed there for a while."

"That was nice," she said steadily, using her finger to prop her glassed up further on the bridge of her nose. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Jacob wants to do something special tonight, like a really nice date or something. He's going to pick me up sometime this evening. Is that alright?" I asked, wondering if Renee was hoping to spend some time with me. Even if she was planning on it, she would never deny me a date with my boyfriend.

"Of course you can go," she said with a light laugh. A laugh that I really thought was beautiful. "You and Jacob go and have some fun for me, will you? Work is such a pain that I'm starting to get a headache..."

I stood up and went over to her, taking her glasses from off her nose and folding them over, placing them neatly on the table. "Take a break and stop working. You're over-doing it. You've got plenty of time to finish this case, and right now, you need to take a deep breath and go watch some television or something."

She sighed and took the glasses back, putting them on her head. "You know it isn't that easy," she said. "If I don't get this case done by Sunday, then Richard and Monica are going to have a panic aattack! I just... I just need more time." She reached up and ruffled my hair with her fingers. "You're just like your father, always worrying for me. Don't worry, I'll be done for the night in a little while."

Ever since my dad died, Renee has become what I like to call a workaholic. Non-stop hours at the office, and then when she's home, hours of work piled up on that. She's straining her limits- both of us knows that, but Renee would never admit it. I was like her in that way; even when I knew something was getting difficult, I wouldn't stop trying until it was complete.

After I kissed Renee's cheek and patted her shoulder, I went upstairs to shower and get ready for this evening. I just let my hair down after it was washed because the only way to achieve the perfect ringlets was to let my hair down to air dry. When I went to get dressed, I found myself standing in front of my closet, my hands on my hips, wondering what I should wear. I didn't want to over-do it if we were just doing bowling, and I didn't want to dress too casual if we were doing something a little fancy. So, in the end, I decided to wear a pair of dark wash, almost black, jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt that wasn't too low, but low enough for me. I wrapped a long pearl necklace around my hand- I would put that on if we went somewhere nice.

Jacob arrived at my house at seven o'clock. He was wearing fairly simple clothes: a pair of jeans and a fitted, graphic t-shirt. Nothing too fancy, so I quickly took off the necklace around my wrist and threw it around the banister of the stairs.

"You look great," Jacob said, grabbing my hand then taking a step back to examine me fully. "But you need to wear something else." He looked at me with a sly grin.

"Something else?" I asked, my brow raised. "What do you mean?"

He chuckled deeply, the sound so nice it made shivers run down ym spine. "You'll see when we get outside to my motorcycle."

My eyes went wide, reaching all the way up to my browns. "Your... motorcycle?"

He nodded and turned back to open the door, my hand still intertwined with his. His motorcycle was parked at the bottom of our driveway, it red paint shining as drops of water bounced of water droped off of it. On the seat were two leather jackets.

"Here," he said, passing a jacket to me. "This one is for you."

"For me?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed. I took the jacket from him and swung it over my shoulders, sticking my arms through the arm holes. It was a little damp, but that didn't really bother me that much. When it was on, I stretched my arms out and looked at them. "It's... different."

"A good difference, I hope." Jacob winked and threw his red helmet on his head, doing up all the buttons and straps. He swung his legs over the seat of the bike, the muscles in his legs flexing through his jeans, which weren't skin tight or baggy; they were just the right fit. Then he twisted the key, making the motorcycle create an ear piercing growl that made me cringe, before it settled into a low buzzing sound. "I usually bring another helmet, but for now, this is the only one that I've got. But we won't be going very far."

Another reason to asume that we wouldn't be going anywhere fancy. The only "fancy" resturnant the people of Forks have in this town is the Cavern, and there you can wear dirty clothes, your hair nothing but a big mess, and they will still greet you with a warm smile that tells you that you are welcome. It was a place that's too run- down to be considered a real resturant. It was a place where truckers would stop on their way to Seattle, their clothes full of grease and gasoline. They didn't care how you dressed, but dressing too formal would look a little off.

"Well, don't be shy," he said, turning halfway to pat the space on the seat behind him. "I don't bite ." I couldn't help but laugh at his lame excuse for a joke as I hosted my leg over the seat and sat down on back of Jacob. I wrapped my arms around his stomach, feeling the tightness of his six-pack under my fingers. I rested my head on his back and closed my eyes and he started down the road, heading towards Port Angelas.

I liked the feeling of having the wind in my hair. And surprisingly, I liked the feeling of not being in control. So I sat there, my head on Jacob's back, feeling the wind tousle my hair and help clear my mind of any troubling throughts I was having. I had never been on Jacob's motorcycle before; not that I was scared, but just because I didn't really _want_ to. But now I was wondering why.

We rode for a little over thirty minutes on a long, beautiful road that I had never seen before. The road stretched out, developed in arrays of green trees and shrubs and bushes. The tree's seemed to work like a canopy over the road we were taking as the rain just barely hit us; most of it being collected in the leaves from the tops of the tree's and only a few drops managing to hit us. But I didn't care- I was just glad to be here with Jacob.

When we reached where we were going, it was just starting to get a little dark, the clouds turning a dark grey and the air becoming a little musky and heavy. Jacob slowed down the motorcycle to a slow walk, and then we found ourselves riding slowly on another trail with more bumps and turns and pot holes.

"Where are we going?" I asked once again, trying to think about something romantic that could be

out here in the wilderness. I couldn't think of anything.

Jacob turned his head slightly to the right, but was still looking straight ahead with his eyes. "You'll see soon enough," he told me, speaking over the engine, which was still purring loudly depsite our slow pace.

We drove for a little over five minutes until Jacob stopped in front of, what looked to me,a cabin of some sort. But it was beautiful and big, the roof making a triangle and the exterior made of pine. There was a large door in the front, and to either side of it were windows. A single light burnt over the door; the only light we had. And a nice white awning covered the front patio.

Jacob put the stand down on his bike and got off. He turned to me and opened his arms, and I gently grasped his forearms and got off, my eyes locked firmly onto the cabin in front of us. "It's so... _huge_," I said with enphasis. I turned to Jacob, and saw his sparkling eyes looking at the cabin.

"This is what I wanted to show you," he told me, nodding towards the cabin. "My dad built it with my mother when I was just a baby. We built it farely close to home incase someone wanted an escape, a place to relax. I wanted you to see it."

"Can we go in?" I asked with excitment and curiousity. Jacob took off his helmet and chuckled, then reached down and firmly intertwined our fingers together before gently pulling me in the dirction of the cabin.

When we reached the door, Jacob reached deep into his pocket and pulled out a single key, its edges ridged. He stuck it in the lock and then twisted the doorknob, letting it slowly open to reveal that the inside was pitch black.

"It's dark," I pointed out, causing Jacob to laugh in delight.

"The light is right," he stuck his hand in the door and flicked a switch, making the whole cabin become lightened, "here."

He walked in, and I followed behind him briskly, wanting to see what was behind these walls. And when I saw the beautiful wall color- almost a mint green color- and the furniture was up to date, but still modern looking for a cabin. The kitchen, which is the first thing you walk into, was connected to the living room, a long counter the only thing to divid it. To the right was a staircase that let to a loft, where three doors were shut closed.

On the table, three candles, all lined up in a row, gleamed with a burning orange light. Jacob must have been here earlier, long enough to set up some candles and then come to pick me up. I notced on the table that there were an array of fruits on a platter; strawberries, grapes, cantalope, honeydew and pinapple overflowing.

I looked up at Jacob. "You did all this for me?"

He walked over to the table and pulled out a chair. "Come sit."

I smiled and happily obliged, walking over and sitting down. Jacob sat across from me and popped a piece of pineapple in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. I reached over and took a strawberry, placing it in my mouth and chewing.

"Why did you do all of this?" I asked suddenly, swallowing a piece of honeydew.

"I wanted tonight to be special," he told me happily with a shrug. "I think you deserve the best. And I wanted to show you how much I really care about it."

I giggles and put another piece of strawberry in my mouth. "You're doing a very good job, I must say. Oh, and this fruit is delicious!"

"I know, right?" he said with a smug grin.

Jacob and I sat at that table for two hours, just laughing and talking and having a good time. The cabin was nice and cozy, and even though we were in the middle of abandoned woods with no one for miles but each other. The only available lighting was the single bulb that hung between the family room and kitchen and the few candles Jacob had lined up on the table. It cast us both in a mysterious orange glow that seemed to dance off our skin and radiate off the walls. His hand was slid across the table holding mine, my thumb running over his knuckles so that I could feel the fine hairs that grew there. Our eyes were locked, and a million emotions rushed through at once. Happiness, contentment, excitment... They all rushed like a river through my veins.

"That was our first date, remember?" I asked with a giggle. "We went to the state fair in Port Angelas and ate cotten candy and corn dogs until we were sick. And we rode that rollar coaster a billion times. Oh, that was so fun!"

"That's coming again next week," Jacob said, taking his finger and pointing it at me, chuckling. "I've been on a few dates before..." he winked at me teasingly, "but that was the best date I've ever been on!"

I threw my head back in laugher, just enjoying the way that Jacob and I got along together. I wasn't afraid to be myself around him, and he wasn't afriad to show the true, fun Jacob that he really was. I liked the way Jacob's dark, almost black hair didn't cover his eyes, exposing the deep brown orbs he had and his nice, defined cheek bones. Everything about him drew me in, and I was falling fast.

"I love you."

Our eyes disconnected and my eyes became wide. He had never said anything like that before, and him saying it now was such a surprise. I didn't know what to say to him, and I think my expression told him that.

"I love you, Isabella Marie Swan."

I gulped and looked at him, a blank stare on my face. "Me too, Jacob." His face didn't fall, surprisingly, and he just kept smiling a nice, dazzling smile.

We decided to leave a few minutes later, wanting to get home and sleep so we could be refreshed for school in the morning. It was going for nine at night, and we wanted to be home by ten- thirty, so Jacob took my hand, blew out the candles and turned off the light, then guided me out the door and shut it behind us. He led me to his motorcycle, and within a few minutes, we were heading towards home.

A few minutes into the ride, I felt us catch up the sped, my long hair waving behind me. I gripped my arms around Jacob's waist and buried my face into his back, trying to let the feeling of being free and calm overcoming me once again. We picked up pace, and I focused on taking deep, soothing breaths from my nose.

"Can you do me a favor?" I heard Jacob ask as he turned his body a little to the right. I looked up so my chin was almost touching his shoulder.

I nodded, though I knew he couldn't see me. "Okay."

"I need you to take this helmet off me, and put it on you. It's bugging me." He took one hand off of the handle to tap his helmet and detach the velcro. I reached up and took the red helmet off of his head and put it on my own head, not bothering to do the velcro back up because I just didn't want to let back go of Jacob.

We kept going at full speed, the bike jerking from left to right every now and then before Jacob could find the means to steady it again. I bit my lower lip to stop it from trembling, knowing that I was safe in the hands of Jacob, but still frightened to the point of tears.

"Jake, slow down."

He didn't listen. She asked him again, louder, but he didn't make any movment or sound to let her know the he had heard her, but just didn't bother to oblige. She closed her eyes, feeling cold from the air rushing around her body and wondering if her hands were shaking because she was cold or because she was internally scared. She knew it was silly to be scared- Jacob seemed find, perfectly content, and that made her relax a little.

But they were going fast down a narrow dirt road, the pot holes and bumps tossing Bella from one side to the other. She struggled to lean over to the left to peer at the meter, just curious as to how fast they were actually going. When she saw that the meter read 90 miles per hour, her heart nearly skipped a beat.

"Jacob, stop. I think I'm going to be sick."

Again he didn't listen. Bella fought the urge to vomit and focused on breathing, in and out, in and out. Then, Jacob finally said, "Give me a hug."

"What?" Bella asked, a little surprised by his sudden request. "My arms are wrapped around your stomach. How much more of a hug do you want?"

"Just do it," he said, his voice breaking. Bella didn't want to argue with him, so she squeezed him with her shaking arms and kissed his back lovingly. She noticed his body losen after she did this, but the meter stayed up.

"Now," he said a moment later, "I need you to kiss me."

Now Bella was extremely confused. Jacob's back was to her- how was she suppose to kiss him? He should be more focused on driving then kissing, she thought to herself in spite of herself. But the road she was on was straight, and Jacob would just have to focus on keeping the handles straight. So, she sat herself up as straight as she possibly could, took one hand away from his stomach while the other gripped his abs. Then she gingerly raised her right hand and placed it on his cheek, gently pushing it towards her before she stood up a little and kissed his soft lips. She stayed there for a second, liking the way his lips felt on hers, before sitting back down wrapping her arm back around his torso.

They still didn't slow down. Bella had her eyes closed, pretending that she was home in her bed, reading a nice, classical tale about forbidden love. She thought about Renee with her beautiful smile and loving touch, and how nice it would be to feel her embrace around her right now. She thought about Charlie, and how much she missed him. She forced herself not to think about him- it was only going to bring massive dissapointment when she went home and her father wasn't there.

"I need you to do one more thing," Jacob said again.

Bella took a breath and said, "Yes, Jake? What is it?"

"Tell me you love me."

"Jacob, I-"

"Tell me you love me."

It was feelings like these that Bella was scared of. She was afraid if she gave her heart to Jacob, he would do what Edward had done to her. Of course, she knew Jacob lovd her- he had confessed his feelings for her just a little while before. But Edward had also said that he loved her, and he had taken those words right back when he left all those months ago. Love was something Bella welcomed- she wasn't going to be one of those girls who gets her heart broken and then was never going to love again- but she was going to be a little more careful about who she said it to.

Don't get her wrong, she has never felt that way about anyone ever before, not even with Edward. But she was scared. And that was understandable.

"Please, tell me you love me," he begged.

She was crying now. A steady flow of warm, satly tears flowing down her pink, cold cheeks. She didn't like crying as she had done enough of that after Edward left and after the death of her beloved father, but she couldn't help the stream of liquid from falling down her face and landing on the sleek, leather jacket.

"Tell me you love me!"

"I love you!"

His voice was softer as he said, "Say it like you mean it, Bella, please. Just... say it like you mean it."

Bella clenched her hands in fists and closed her eyes so tight that they hurt.

"I love you."

He relaxed some some more, just hearing Bella utter those words, those beautiful, magical words. Bella knew she meant what she was saying, even if she wasn't entirely ready to say them. A part of her was happy to get it off of her shoulders, but another part of was afraid of what saying those words would do to her.

"I love you, Jacob Timothy Black."

She saw his shoulders rack, but he made no sound. She furrowed her eyebrows together in utter confusion, not understanding what was going. They were on the highway now, and every now and then a car would honk at them, signaling them to slow down.

"Jacob, are you cr-"

"Just know that I love you, okay?"

And that was the last thing she remembered before she heard a ear shattering bang, felt a massive pain in her head, and everything went black.

--

Bella didn't know where she was when she got up, or what she was doing there. The room she awakened in was white, too white and too bright for her eyes to tolerate, and there was an annoying beeping sound coming from her right side. When she turned her head to try to see where they noise was coming from, a sharp pain in her head made her stop and recoil back, bring her hand up to her head to feel where the pain was coming from.

"Be careful, Bella. You may tear your stiches out." It was her mother's soothing voice that rang through her head.

"Stiches?" her voice was feeble and week, and didn't sound right coming out of her mouth.

"You have eight stiches running from your temple, all the way to the center of your head. The doctor told me to warn you not to touch them."

"What happened..." she asked softly, then suddenly remembered the headlights, the loud banging noise, the headlights from the car, and the way her body was thrust violently out of the motorcycle seat and onto the cold, hard pavement. "Jacob..."

Renee closed her eyes, and Bella could see her mouth twist up in a pinch. She opened her eyes again and reached over to grasp Bella's small, scratched hand gently in her own. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "He didn't make it."

Her first instinct was to kick and scream and thrash. But with all the wires connected to her body, in her arms and legs and side, there was no way she was going to be able to move. So she just closed her eyes and shook her head, not believing that words that he mother was saying. Jacob wasn't dead; he was totally fine, probably a couple rooms down from where Bella was. He _had_ to be.

"Bella, I'm so sorry..."

"He isn't dead."

"Oh, sweetie..."

"I won't believe you." She was sobbing by now, her salty tears making the cuts on her face sting and throb with extreme pain and agony. "Jacob isn't dead."

Renee was crying, too, her tears following the same path down her face. Bella looked at her, hr lips quivering, and said, "Mom..."

Renee inhaled and hiccuped. "I thought I lost you, too. The paramedic called me and I thought I lost you."

Bella didn't say anything; her mind was too jumbled with too many thoughts and questions. She tried to speak, but her sobs got tangled in her words and no one could understand what she was saying. So she stopped trying to talk and instead focused on crying her heart out.

Her sobs were turning into slight hiccups when the door to her room opened, and Billy Black, Jacob's father, entered the room in his wheelchair. His eyes were red and puffy- a dead giveaway that he had been crying.

"How're you, Bella?" he asked kindly, his soft voice floating into Bella's ears.

She hiccuped again. "Terrible."

He nodded and patter her foot gently. "I understand, honey. It's been a rough night."

Bella raised her eyebrows and looked at her fragile- looking mother. "How long have I been in here?" she asked curiously.

"You got her ten thirty last night, and right now," she glanced down at her watch, "it is six thirty in the morning."

She bit her lip to keep from crying. Jacob was dead for eight hours. Eight hours she went without knowing that the love of her life, the one she wanted to spent the rest of her life with, was dead. And she couldn't do anything to help, to go back in time and earase what happened.

"Do they know what caused the motorcycle to crash?" Renee asked, looking at Billy, who nodded.

"It was the brakes. The analysis came back to me about an hour ago, and the determind, by looking at the bike, that the brakes went. What they think is wierd, though, is that they think Jacob kept going when he knew the brakes we gone."

Bella couldn't help herself; she just began to sob uncontrolablly again. Renee stood up and wrapped her arms around Bella gently, as to not disturb any of Bella's cuts or bruises that were on her body, mostly her torso. Bella just sobbed, not wanting to hear it, not wanting to believe what she was hearing, because it was just too much. It was just too much to handle, to much to deal with, and the realaztion of what Jacob did for Bella was just too overwhelming.

He had died.

He had died to save her.

Jacob had made Bella take off his helmet for him and place it on her own head. He had made her hug him. He had made her kiss him. And he made sure she expressed her love for him. He did all of that to make sure that he felt Bella's embrace, her kiss, her words, before he would die. He knew he would die, and he was willing to give his life for Bella, the one he loved.

If Bella hadn't taken his helmet, maybe Jacob would have lived. Maybe she would have died? Or maybe she would have survived. After all, she didn't get as much of an impact as Jacob did, though she did get a fine jolt. And maybe, just maybe, they would both be here today.

She didn't tell anyone this as they both sobbed on her hospital bed.

She didn't tell anyone this the day she was released from hospital.

She didn't anyone this as she went to Jacob's funerl.

And she didn't tell anyone this as she stood at the edge of the ocean, just wanting to be able to feel Jacob's warm, soft body entangled with hers.

Bella knew what Jacob and given up for her: his life. And that was something more then she could ever ask for. It was more than what she wanted. If Jacob had told her about the brakes being gone, they could have formed a plan. Bella didn't know what the plan would have consisted of, but she knew that they could have found something out. Maybe.

It had been about two weeks since Jacob's death. Bella had only been in hospital for a little over a week before she was able to go home. The stiches still ran across her forehead, and burned whenever it was touched. The bruises were turning from a dark purple to a deep yellow color, the scraps she recieved were starting to scab over. There was only part of her body that would never heal.

Her heart.

Everyone had came back to First Beach after Jacob's funeral, even Jacob's two sisters Rebecca and Rachel, who came in from Seattle where they attended college. Renee had wanted Bella to stay at the top of the beach, in the parking lot, with all of the other people, but Bella wandered. In her hand, there was a single blue balloon tied onto a white string. She had taken it from the fineral home- it had given her comfort somehow.

So now, as she stood with her toes in the water, she closed her eyes. Since Jacob died, she realized that she wanted to do something with her life. She needed to make the life Jacob gave to her worth while, if not, he would have died for nothing, for no reason, and she wasn't about to let that happen.

Her fingers started to shake, and her palms began to get clamy. Her closed eyes burned and her hair was flying around her face in loose strands. She focused on picturing Jacob's face, with his beautiful tanned skin, defined nose and cheek bones, and a smile that was to die for. His hair, jet black and sleek, framed his face nicely, making his amazing features stand out even more. Bella wanted to badly to run her fingers through te softness of his hair. That would never happen.

"This is for you, Jake."

She took a breath, and raised her hand that held the balloon. One by one, she lifted each of her fingers and let the blue balloon go. She opened her eyes and watched as it drifted up in the air above the salty ocean. It swayed from left to right, raising and raising until it dissapeared around the bend. She inhaled a breath, and blinked away several tears.

"I love you, Jacob. I really, truly love you. Please know that."

She wiped her eyes, took a deep breath through her mouth, turned on her heels, then started to make her way back up to the parking lot to join everyone else. At that moment, the wind stopped, the waves calmed, and the sun peaked through the massive array of clouds, only for a moment before the wind picked back up again, the cloulds covered the sun, and the waves began to crash madly against the shore.

At that moment, Bella knew that Jacob would always be with her, would have a piece of her heart, and would always love her.

Always.

--

**A/N- Some of you guys have known that I have been writing this one- shot for the past little while, and have been waiting patiently for me to post it. Well, here it is! It's about twelve pages long, which I think is pretty good. I know some of you didn't like the ending, and I guess that's understandable. To me, though, not all stories should and are going to have a happy ending where the boy and girl run off into the sunset. This is an example of one of those stories. But I am very happy with the outcome, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it. And for those who will ask- I am Team Switzerland, as of the past few months. I used to hate Jacob with a passion, but then I started to realize that he was, after all, Bella's backbone when Edward was gone in New Moon. Without him, Bella would... well, she probably would have died. And that wouldn't be any fun! Now, I'm rambling, so I should probably finish this and post it so I can write Together. Oh, review please! You can also PM me if you like!**


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